Scrabble
by CuteChibiChocoCloud
Summary: Luffy, Sanji and Zoro play Scrabble. Who would have guessed an innocent game of words could get so, ahem, raunchy. Hinted yaoi.


**Disclaimer: I regretfully admit that I do not own One Piece, for if I did own it, Sanji wouldn't have to switch his ciggies for a lollypop in the english version.**

"Why are you making me do this?" Zoro moaned, "Couldn't you have gotten someone else to do this?"

Sanji huffed, "How many times do I have to tell you. Nami-san asked me to play Scrabble with Luffy and someone else," clasping his hands and placing them on his chest, he looked up at the ceiling with hearts in his eyes, "Ahh, my dear Nami-san. So thoughtful and considerate. Thinking of Luffy and his vocabulary. How fate has been generous, placing the sweet tulip that is Nami in my midst. Oh, how I would love to…"

"Sanji, shut up!" Luffy jumped up and down repeatedly, "I wanna play the game!"

"Luffy's right. I've had enough of your pathetic drabble."

Sanji glared at the two companions, "Hmph. Mere boys like you could never understand the sheer beauty of a woman."

Heaving a sigh, Sanji chucked the board out onto the table, and served out the letters between them.

Already fed up, Zoro grabbed the little square letters from Sanji's hand. He would do almost anything for his captain, but was this really necessary?

Probably not. This was no doubt another one of Nami's ploys to get Sanji out of her hair. Why the hell did she have to land **him** with Sanji, playing a pointless game.

"Why so glum Zoro?" Luffy bent his head lower, so he could make eye contact with his first mate, "Don't you wanna play?"

Knowing how fragile his captain's feelings could be, Zoro replied, "Of course I do Luffy. Just tired, that's all."

"Don't you get enough sleep crap-swordsman?" Sanji leered, "Whenever I see you, you're slacking off on the decks, while I slave away in the kitchen."

"Whatever," Zoro rolled his eyes, as if he had heard this speech over a thousand times, "Let's just play."

"I go first! ME, ME!" Luffy yelled with anticipation.

Scratching his head, Luffy took his time in looking at his letters. The last thing he wanted was to lose this game. Then, like an epiphany, it came to him. He doubted that he could have thought of a better opening move.

"M-E-A-T," Luffy spelled out loud, "Was I good?"

"You were brilliant," Zoro said supportively.

"Yeah, right," Sanji spoke sarcastically, "I'm going next."

Almost femininely, Sanji's nimble fingers shuffled about some letters. Then, he gracefully placed them on the board.

"Cookery," he said defiantly.

"Cookery? Cookery!" Zoro raised an eyebrow then laughed, "You have an unhealthy fixation on your bloody cooking! I think you should seek professional help. Don't you agree Luffy?"

"Sounds good to me!" he grinned, not knowing exactly what Zoro was going on about. However, he knew it was something to do with Sanji's cooking, so he instantly agreed.

Huffing, Sanji retorted, "Shut up the two of you! I do not have an obsession with cooking! I just happened to make the word 'cookery', so swivel on this!"

Sanji rose his middle finger, and shook it in an abusive manner in front of the two crew mates.

"You crack me up Sanji, you really do," Zoro chortled, as he began to put down some letters. He lacked the elegance of Sanji's nimble fingers, "Samurai."

"Look who's talking now!" Sanji mocked, "I think you need help with your sword infatuation."

"Did you look up that word in a dictionary 'fork fanatic'?" Zoro threw back.

"Look!" Luffy cried, and pointed down at the board. Neither the swordsman or cook had noticed that Luffy had went, since they were so caught up in their feud.

"That's not a word Luffy," Sanji said.

"Sure it is," the captain grinned, "How stupid are you Sanji. Onepiece is the whole point of our journey."

"Yeah," Zoro smiled evilly, "Where have you been Sanji? Shoving utensils up your ass again?"

"I'm going to be a man, and ignore that last statement," Sanji flicked his fringe, "For your information, one piece is two words, so it doesn't count."

"You're as bad a liar as Usopp is," Luffy pouted. He knew onepiece was a word, and didn't want to lose out in points just because Sanji was being a bad loser.

Zoro grunted, "You can have it Luffy. It's all right."

Even though he too, knew fine and well 'onepiece' wasn't a whole word, he didn't care. Any opportunity to piss off Sanji was blissful.

"Whoopee!" punching his fists in the air, Luffy screamed out his delight, "Yeah, all right!"

Too tired to care, Sanji made his move without any complaint, "Bastard."

Zoro noticed that Sanji was looking directly at him, with a dirty look on his face, "Oh yeah, well how about this…f-a-g-g-o-t."

"Oh, I think I have a really good one guys," chuckling, Luffy placed down three letters. Three was all it took to shock the others, "It's a word, right?"

Finding Luffy's innocence unbearably cute, Zoro smiled, "Sex? It's a word alright. A very, very good one in fact. I don't think that Sanji could do better."

Taking up Zoro's challenge, Sanji placed down some letter chips and said smoothly, "Well, well. Look what we have here. Pornography."

Grinning, Zoro set down his already planned word, "Suck."

Luffy followed up, seeing a link in all the words, and deciding to follow it, "Blow."

Seeing where this was all leading, Sanji couldn't help but smirk, "Spit."

"Swallow," said Zoro in a seductive manner.

"Flesh."

"Tongue."

"Passion."

"Hard."

"Dick."

"Ass."

"Play."

"Oil."

"Massage."

"Fast."

"Orgasm."

"Climax."

"Hey guys. How's it going?"

Both Sanji and Zoro jolted, as Nami entered the room. As she came over, they did their best to cover up the board, while Luffy only greeted the navigator with his trademark smile.

"Hey Nami," Luffy said jovially, "We were just playing a game. I think I'm winning."

"Really?" asked Nami, "Let me see then."

Her face went blank, as her eyes gazed upon the board. Yes, there was plenty of words…but…what the hell!

"Ooookaaaaay," exclaimed Nami. She began to back towards the door, "I think I hear Usopp calling me. Yes, definitely. I'd better go, right now. Anyway, it's clear you're having plenty of fun without me. Bye then."

Vibrant shades of red manifested on Sanji and Zoro's faces. Of course, Luffy only acted as normal. Nami would probably never look at any of them in the same way again. No way would she even consider giving in to Sanji's advances.

"Man, I'm beat," there were a couple of tip-tap noises, then Luffy rose, arms outstretched, and let out a massive yawn, "I'm going to bed now. I think my final word beat them all, so goodnight guys."

Dumbstruck, the two rivals watched Luffy casually exit the room, leaving them alone.

"You can clear this up Zoro, since you're such a lazy ass anyway," before Zoro could make a come back, Sanji had already slammed the door behind him.

"Crap-cook," he murmured, cursing the chef underneath his breath.

Curious as to what Luffy had put down before he left, he looked down at the board.

'L-O-V-E-U'

Feeling a warmth in his heart, Zoro smiled softly down at the letters. It may not have been a real word, but he sure as hell knew what it meant.

After staring constantly at the 'word', he began to tidy the game away into it's box.

Maybe he should play this game again. But the next time, it'll just be him, and Luffy, alone.

FIN

I hope you guys enjoy this as much as the ones at adult fanfic did (I go under a different pen-name at AFF, just in case someone went lookin for my profile there and claimed I was stealing the fic – lets just say I'm paranoid.) . Pleeeease review and let me know whatcha think. Feedback is like an author's food…don't starve me, pleeease!

_CuteChibiChocoCloud_


End file.
